Secret Agents Of Change

Hello folks. Steve here, it's only been...a while since I posted. No harm though, as this blog is essentially the same as talking to myself.

Anyway, election season is in full swing! Candidates are selected, as are their VP choices. The Democratic National Convention was last week in Colorado. Ted Kennedy arose and gave a great endorsement speech for Obama. I was going to post my leak of what Hillary Clinton was going to say in her speech but she beat me to the punch with something completely different...she wholeheartedly backed Barack Obama and gave him a ringing endorsement! And then Bill Clinton did it! Whaaaaa?

Obama chose Delaware Senator Joe Biden as his running mate. It was a solid move with a spoonful of controversy as Biden has a bit of a big mouth. Nonetheless, Obama chose wisely and was not turned into Christopher Lloyd by the Holy Grail.


Obama also accepted the nomination in front of over 80,000 people on a football field, which is, to quote a wise scholar, "bitchin!" A very solid DNC for the Democrats in which they remained on point, stayed relatively respectful to their opponents, and even let the Christmas Elf Dennis Kucinich speak!

Now the RNC is this week. Who has McCain chosen for his running mate? Duracell man Mitt Romney?
Nah...

How about Mike Huckabee? Or Tom Ridge? Or even your good buddy Joe Lieberman?

No, none of them? Who else is there McCain!?

Sarah Palin? The governor of Alaska? Kay...

Fair enough I suppose...

She has been governor for less than two years now and has some family stuff that Republicans LOVE to hear about but I could care less about.

But hey, apparently she's got a wicked tongue!

Her first speech as McCain's running mate was a doozy (they still say doozy right? is that too 1950s? Wait, I'm talking about the Republicans, NOTHING can be TOO 1950s...). She called out Barack Obama on a number of things, namely his inexperience (him being a Senator for two years but actually running for president for half of that, versus her who has been governor of a state that's got more in common with Canada than the U.S. for two years, was in some beauty paegants, and shot a moose!). See, Barack Obama's never shot a moose!

But I digress. And with that, some random thoughts to close out the entry:

- How must it feel to be McCain and having your mortality questioned at every turn? Every time people mention McCain, they state his age as a major factor, as if the looming spectre of death is haunting him with every step. Palin's nomination especially plays into this as said looming spectre could cause her to be President of the United States ::shudder::

- I swear I heard Cindy McCain say today that Palin is ready to be commander-in-chief because she governs the state closest to Russia, so she feels that pressure. Is this Israel with Russians starting skirmishes on the border? Are we being invaded and if so, why did no one tell me!? I swear this was said...and if it's not just a hallucination, this becomes the most numbing statement of the election thus far.

- Can the Republicans please stop making fun of Barack Obama's former job as a community organizer? I know they don't care about people in cities, but community organizers actually play an important and active role in cities. Blows my mind what issues get brought up by the GOP. Are they going to criticize the pieces of patriotic flair that Obama wears again? Ugh...

- I love how the Republicans are now calling themselves the agents of change. How can this be? Will you morph into another party upon election? Perhaps form a facist regime (enough with this voting nonsense!)? 2008 Republicans, Secret Agents of Change!

- I am fairly certain that James Carville spends his nights in a cave. The man looks like Gollum!

- With the looming spectre of death over McCain's head apparently, this election could quickly fall to VP candidate vs. Presidential candidate. Would it look anything like this?

OMG SMALL TOWN PA PEOPLE ARE UNEMPLOYED VIOLENT BIGOTS!?!?!? DAT STEREOTYPING!!!!!!!!

Barack Obama said small town Pennsylvanians were bitter about losing their jobs left and right and have embraced religion and guns as a result. People are apparently pissed about this. Have they ever been to small town Pennsylvania? I guess not...cause they sure do love Rambo Jesus out there.

Seriously though, hunting's pretty big in Pennsylvania.

Gotta love media overreaction in Presidential races!

State O Tha Union

Here we are, the last of George W. Bush's State of the Union addresses. Has it already been eight years? Man, does the time fly when things are shitty!

I'm watching the address as I write this and I think I'm seeing how truly silly this speech has become. Well, not so much the speech, but the television coverage of the speech. I really should have prepared a drinking game for this.

For instance, I could drink every time that the Republicans rise to clap and cheer and the Democrats just sit there. I could take a drink every time the camera switches to a prominent Democrat like Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama and find them scowling and/or bored (especially in the case of Senator Clinton.

I could take a drink every time I see Dick Cheney smirk and Nancy Pelosi grimace (how often these two thing s happen together is fairly amazing). Seeing these two sit next to each other in back of President Bush is hilarious in and of itself.

Observations:

- Seeing Ted Kennedy and Barack Obama sit next to each other is also pretty funny. Who wants to see these two crazy kids get together and be running mates? I sure do! I can think of only a few more awkward pairings than that (Ron Paul and Dick Cheney come to mind).

- Hilary Clinton looks like she wants to kill herself sitting there.

- Did Bush really bring up Colombia? Has someone been watching Clear And Present Danger?

- Dubya really should have shown up in a cowboy hat. Or maybe a spacesuit. It's his last SOTU, he might as well.

- Dick Cheney's making a face akin to a common gorilla.

- It feels like Bush is the principal of a high school scolding his students for doing lousy work and not doing what he tells them to.

- How does somebody get one of those great seats way up high in back of the President? That has to be the best seat in the house. You can take a nap there and still say you attended. I bet someone up there has a Nintendo DS.

Finally, does Congress really need to applaud after every bullet point the President makes? Jesus Christ this is boring, I could be watching Arrested Development instead. Let the great experiment begin!

Comeback Kid?

It's pretty amazing how Hilary Clinton was nearly the unanimous favorite for the Democratic nod among pundits before losing to Obama and Edwards in Iowa, yet her win in New Hampshire makes her a "comeback kid". It's almost like watching the Eagles/Patriots Superbowl. The Patriots were the clear favorite amongst NFL experts going into the game. The Eagles surprised people and took an early lead and looked good but when New England comes back people start yelling, "Yeah! No one respected them! That Tom Brady's a comeback kid!" No, they were the team predicted to win that has taken the expert predicted lead. Hilary's no comeback kid, she's still the favorite. I'm also still rooting for the underdog.

Campaign Trail Woes

Hey people who don't read this, I'm back! Not sure why I haven't posted in a month or so, so don't ask.

The presidential election of 2008 is starting to get pretty crazy (but not Pat Robertson crazy) and entertaining. Hilary Clinton hates Barack Obama, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee hate each other, everyone hates Hilary Clinton, Rudy Guliani wants to let people know that he was, in fact, the mayor of New York on September 11, 2001 in case they didn't know (they did), John Edwards and John McCain just wants to let everyone know that they're still here, and poor Bill Richardson just wants some love. Oh and Ron Paul's somewhere doing something that about 10% or less of people find astonishing for some reason.

After the Iowa caucuses, where front runners are decided in what I believe is some sort of harvest, Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee came out as the leaders in their respective parties, putting Hilary Clinton and Mitt Romney into panic mode.

Hilary's gotten to the point where she's looking extremely run down and discussing it in public.

Romney, on the other, much more red hand, has decided to just flat out start insulting Huckabee.

John McCain is finding New Hampshire to probably make or break his campaign.

My favorite strategy happens to be Rudy Guliani's "hang out in Florida and then strike!" strategy. Nah, there's no way he's just vacationing and pretending to work right? America's Mayor? No way would be do that!

I'm still waiting for my Dean scream people, don't let me down. This means you Mrs. Clinton.