Bein’ A Thug on the El

Guess who’s the best and brightest in today’s society? Thugs who ride the El. For two bucks you can be a king of the train. There’s really only one step:

DON’T GIVE A SHIT

Don’t give a shit about appearance, actions, or words. Gangstas dress how they want to son! Be it hoodies and sweats or fur and fleece, thugs keep it real!

Sit on the outer of two seats and don’t let anyone sit on the inner, no matter how old or crippled they are. Drink heavily. Brown paper bags are optional at this point. Smoke too. Sure, that sign says don’t, but you a thug! Ain’t none of your concern. Roll a blunt and leave the tobacco in the back corner.

Wear big headphones (not on your ears, around your neck) and blast rap music. Sweet, you are well on your way to being da man (not The Man though, that’s who you’re rebelling against)! Grab your balls now and tell yourself “Good job.”

Curse. A lot. Make sure that children and/or the elderly hear it. Make sure that when the elderly and/or parents of the children give you dirty looks, you glare at them, stick out your arms and say, “What you lookin’ at?” When they turn around disgusted, laugh and say, “Yeah, that’s what I thought!” Curse even louder and call your friends that N-Word. Good work dawg.

That’s it! You’re on your way to becoming quite possibly the greatest asset society has, a thug on the El! You go keep those middle to upper class people scared of public transportation!