Somehow, someway, I have been leaked Rudy Guliani's victory speech that he has prepared for his "inevitable" primary victory in Florida, where he has almost exclusively campaigned to this point! Let's see what America's Mayor has to say:
You know, my favorite Beatles song was always "Happiness Is A Warm Gun". I think that song best describes how I'm feeling today, as Florida is quite warm and shaped like a gun.
I have a great deal of warm lead in my chest right now from the people of Florida. We won this primary through good old fashioned moxsy and gumption! Through sheer force of will I have taken Florida and soon I will take the world!
So to Mitt Romney, up yours! To John McCain, screw you! To Mike Huckabee, eff off! And Fred Thompson can just go die! I win! Just like in Highlander, there can be only one, and it will be Guliani!
::Then it says that Guliani is to stick his arms in the air, kinda like Nixon, and be carried off by the crowd chanting "Rude-ee, Rude-ee, Rude-ee!" like in his favorite movie::
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